In my work as a mental performance consultant and sports counselor in Colorado, one of the most consistent patterns I see is this: it’s rarely a lack of athleticism or physical strength that holds athletes back. It’s the mental barriers — the inner critic, the fear of making mistakes, the “what if” mental spiral — that quietly erode confidence and hinder performance when the pressure is on. One of the most powerful tools I use to help athletes break through those barriers is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for athletes, an evidence-based approach that builds the mental resilience to perform at your best — even under pressure.

Most athletes have been taught to fight those thoughts. Push them down. Replace them with something positive. And while positive self-talk has its place, there’s a more powerful approach that I return to again and again in my work with elite athletes and teams: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, or ACT.

ACT doesn’t simply ask you to silence your inner critic or challenge and replace your negative thoughts. It asks you to stay in the moment, face the discomfort and ultimately build a foundation of enduring mental resilience.

What Is ACT?

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for athletes is a modern, evidence-based form of psychotherapy that builds psychological flexibility — the ability to stay present, adapt to challenges, and keep moving toward what matters to you, even when you doubt yourself and feel uncomfortable.

Rather than teaching you to fight or suppress difficult thoughts and emotions, ACT helps you change your relationship with them. The goal isn’t to feel less anxiety before a big competition. The goal is to perform fully, even while anxiety is present.

For athletes, this is a game-changer. Here’s why.

Embracing Discomfort: The Power of Acceptance

Competitive sport is inherently stressful. Pre-competition nerves, the roar of spectator, the countdown of a clock or tie-breaking point — these common experiences naturally  trigger feelings of anxiety, stress, and self-doubt. That’s not a flaw in your mental game. It’s a completely normal part of being an elite athlete.

The problem isn’t the discomfort itself. The problem is what happens when athletes try to eliminate it.

When you spend mental energy fighting your anxiety — telling yourself you shouldn’t be nervous, or that something is wrong with you for doubting your potential — you add layers of suffering, distraction, and probably self-judgement too. That’s a much harder place to compete from.

ACT teaches a different approach: notice the discomfort, name it, and let it be there without letting it control the steering wheel. This is one of the core principles of acceptance and commitment therapy for athletes — making room for discomfort rather than fighting it.

Imagine an elite gymnast preparing for a major competition. The anxiety she feels before stepping onto the mat isn’t a sign of weakness or impending failure — it’s her nervous system preparing her to perform. When she learns to acknowledge that feeling (“I notice I’m feeling anxious right now”) rather than battle it, she frees herself to compete regardless of her internal state. The anxiety doesn’t disappear, but it no longer has the power to derail her focus or her confidence.

That shift — from fighting your inner world to making space for uncomfortable feelings — is at the heart of ACT.

Now let’s shift our focus to the primary tenants of ACT.

Clarifying Values: Finding Purpose Beyond Results

One of the most powerful components of ACT is values clarification. This is the process of getting clear on what truly matters to you as an athlete — not just the outcomes you want, but the type of competitor you are and person you want to be beyond your sport.

Winning matters. Of course it does. But your values go deeper than results. They might include things like perseverance, authenticity, loyalty, integrity, or teamwork, just to name a few examples of my own. When you compete in alignment with your core values, your sense of purpose and identity as an athlete becomes rooted in how you show up — not just in whether you win or lose.

This is especially powerful during moments of adversity.

A soccer player who defines their values as commitment to their teammates and continuous improvement has something to hold onto when they miss a crucial shot or receive harsh criticism from a coach. They can ask themselves: Am I competing in alignment with my values right now? That question redirects focus from the outcome — which they can’t control — to their actions and attitude — which they can.

Values-driven athletes are more resilient, more consistent, and more fulfilled in their sport. They are far less likely to suffer premature career burnout. Not because they stop caring about outcomes, but because they’ve built an identity that doesn’t collapse when the outcome doesn’t go their way.

Mindfulness: Staying Present and Focused

Mindfulness is a cornerstone of ACT — and one of the most practical mental skills I teach athletes. At its core, mindfulness is simply the practice of being fully present in the current moment, without judgment.

For athletes, this means learning to tune into what’s happening right now in front of you in the arena — the feel of your breath, the strength of your musles, the sensation of movement — rather than replaying the last mistake or worrying about what your teammates are thinking.

A volleyball player who can reset mentally between points — letting go of the last play and being fully present for the next serve — is far more likely to play to the best of their ability on the next point. That ability to return to the present moment is a trainable skill, and mindfulness is how you train it.

Practical mindfulness tools for athletes include:

• Breath anchoring — using a slow, intentional exhale to return your attention to the present moment
• Body scans — briefly checking in with physical tension levels before competition or during breaks
• Sensory grounding — directing your attention to immediate physical sensations (the feel of the court under your feet, the weight of the ball in your hands) to interrupt mental spiraling

These aren’t complicated techniques. But practiced consistently, they build the kind of present-moment focus that holds up under pressure.

Defusion: Untangling from Unhelpful Thoughts

Here’s something worth knowing about the brain: it generates unhelpful thoughts constantly. I’m not good enough. I always choke under pressure. I’m going to let my team down. These thoughts aren’t facts — but when you’re in the middle of competition, they can feel like facts, and they can completely distract you, or worse — make you doubt your ability.

Acceptance and commitment therapy for athletes addresses this through a technique called cognitive defusion — learning to observe your thoughts as passing mental events rather than absolute truths.

The difference looks like this:

• Fused: “I’m going to choke. I can’t do this.”
• Defused: “I’m having the thought that I’m going to choke. I can shift my focus and prepare for the next play.”

That small shift in language creates distance between you and the thought. You’re no longer inside it — you’re watching it. And from that position, it has far less power over your behavior.

Athletes who practice defusion become less reactive to the inevitable self-critical thoughts that show up in competition. They can notice a thought, acknowledge it without buying into it, and redirect their attention to what they can actually control — their next action, their effort, their focus.

Commitment to Action: Building Consistency and Growth

The “commitment” in ACT is where values and action meet. It’s about choosing to move toward what matters to you — even when it’s uncomfortable, even when you’re tired, even when you doubt yourself, even when the outcome is uncertain.

For athletes, this shows up in the small daily choices: choosing to get extra reps in beyond your team training, analyzing film, reflecting on your mistakes, and committing to improving your mental game. Committed action isn’t about feeling motivated — it’s about acting in alignment with your values on days when your motivation wanes.

This is one of the most important distinctions ACT makes. You don’t have to feel confident to act confidently. You don’t have to feel ready to be ready. You commit to the action, and the feelings often follow.

How to Start Applying Acceptance and Commitment Therapy as an Athlete to Improve Your Performance

Here are three actionable steps to putting ACT principles into practice:

1. Defuse your inner critic. The next time you feel anxious, frustrated, or overwhelmed during practice or before competition, try simply naming the emotion: “I notice I’m feeling nervous.” That small act of labeling creates separation between you and the feeling.

2. Practice one mindfulness tool daily. Start with breath anchoring — three slow, deep breaths before practice every day. That’s it. Consistency matters more than complexity.

3. Connect with your values. Set aside 10 minutes to answer this question: What kind of athlete, competitor, teammate or leader do I want to be? Not what outcomes you want — but what qualities you want to embody. Write down your core values.

The Bottom Line

ACT isn’t about eliminating discomfort or silencing your critics. It’s about developing the psychological flexibility to achieve mental resiliency, despite the ebb and flow of your confidence and motivation. That’s the promise of acceptance and commitment therapy for athletes — not a quieter inner world, but a stronger, more flexible one.

When you learn to accept your thoughts and emotions rather than fight them, clarify what truly matters to you, and commit to purposeful action, you build a mental foundation that holds up not just in sport — but in every area of your life.

If you’re curious about how ACT and other evidence-based approaches could support your performance and well-being, connect with me. Book a free 15-minute consultation with Dr. Brooke Rundle here.

Headstrong Mindset combines evidence-based research with applied strategies to help you achieve your optimal potential and increase your enjoyment while performing.

References

Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (2012). Acceptance and commitment therapy: The process and practice of mindful change (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.

Gardner, F. L., & Moore, Z. E. (2007). The psychology of enhancing human performance: The mindfulness-acceptance-commitment (MAC) approach. Springer Publishing.

Lundgren, T., Luoma, J. B., Dahl, J., Strosahl, K., & Melin, L. (2012). The Bull’s-Eye Values Survey: A psychometric evaluation. Cognitive and Behavioral Practice, 19(4), 518–526.

Moran, A. P. (2012). Sport and exercise psychology: A critical introduction (2nd ed.). Routledge.

Weinberg, R. S., & Gould, D. (2019). Foundations of sport and exercise psychology (7th ed.). Human Kinetics.

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The journey to peak performance is as much mental as it is physical. This guide will explore what a sports psychologist does and how they help athletes. It will also discuss why this work is a transformative force for anyone looking to achieve excellence. Embark on this journey with us and discover how to build the mental fortitude needed to reach your goals.

What’s the difference between Sports Counseling and Mental Performance Coaching?

Your well-being as a person is the foundation for your performance as an athlete. A holistic approach recognizes that mental health and mental performance are deeply connected. Professionals in this field are equipped to support athletes through a wide range of personal challenges. As you are starting out on your journey, the first step is to decide which type of professional you want to work with. To do this, you’ll need to understand the difference between mental health counseling and mental performance coaching within the field of sport psychology.

Sport focused mental health counseling services offer clinical support to reduce mental health symptoms and promote overall mental health within all aspects of athlete life including your performance domain. Some examples of practitioners are licensed sport psychologists, counselors or therapists who can diagnose and treat mental illness. Common areas that mental health providers support athletes include managing symptoms of anxiety, depression, eating disorders and substance use. Therapeutic approaches are always personalized. They may draw from various modalities like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Internal Family Systems (IFS), or somatic techniques. This flexibility ensures that the therapy evolves with you as your needs change over time, allowing for a personalized plan that best suits your unique needs and goals. The high-pressure environment of sports can sometimes contribute to mental health challenges. A sport counselor or sport psychologist in Denver can offer a confidential space to address these issues.

On the other hand, mental performance coaching provides non-clinical support strictly for performance enhancement and the development of mental skills. Sport performance service providers can include Sport psychologists, in addition to AASP Certified Mental Performance Consultants (CMPC’s) or mental performance coaches. Sport performance services are strictly focused on performance optimization for both individuals and teams. Sport performance sessions prioritize  developing mental skills such as creating competition routines, building confidence, learning controlled breath-work techniques and engaging in visualization or imagery. Mental coaching sessions focus on teaching sport based mental skills and providing support without offering a clinical diagnoses. It’s important to understand this distinction when seeking help.

What is Mental Performance Consulting?

Mental performance consulting, also known as mental coaching for athletes, is rooted in sports psychology. Sport Psychology is a field that sits at the powerful intersection of athlete mental wellness and athletic performance. It combines evidence-based research with applied strategies to help athletes, coaches, and performing artists learn how to perform at their best consistently. This approach helps them increase their enjoyment of their craft and improve their overall mental wellness. Working with a mental coach for athletes will help you develop the mental skills needed to excel. They work with you to navigate performance anxiety, improve team dynamics, and address the mental health challenges that can arise from the pressures of competition.

It’s about building a mindset that is as strong and conditioned as your body. One common misconception is that this type of support is only for elite or professional athletes. The truth is, mental performance skills can empower individuals at every level. From youth athletes learning to handle pressure to collegiate players balancing school and sports, the principles are universal. Furthermore, it’s not limited to traditional sports; musicians, dancers, and other performers can also benefit immensely from these techniques.

How Mental Performance Coaching Experts Help Athletes

Working with a professional trained in sports psychology in Boulder or Denver, CO is about building a mental toolkit to help you succeed. Together, you will explore your strengths, address your challenges, and cultivate a mindset that thrives under pressure. This partnership is designed to equip you with the strategies needed to perform at your best, consistently. It’s an empowering process of self-discovery and skill-building that can transform your approach to competition and life.

Performance Focused Mental Skills Training

Your mind is a muscle that you can train. Both a sports counselor and mental coach for athletes  can teach you how to strengthen your mind through specific, actionable techniques.

• Imagery and Visualization: You can use your mind to prepare your body for success. By mentally rehearsing your performance, you build neural pathways that make success feel more natural and achievable when it’s time to compete.
• Building Confidence and Positive Self-Talk: The voice in your head can be your greatest ally or your biggest critic. You can learn to quiet the negative self-talk and replace it with a supportive inner dialogue that builds you up.
• Goal Setting and Overcoming Perfectionism: Setting clear, meaningful goals provides direction and motivation. You can also learn to embrace progress over perfection, freeing yourself from the fear of making mistakes and allowing you to perform with more freedom.

Overcoming Performance Challenges

Every athlete faces obstacles. The key is learning how to navigate them with resilience.

• Addressing Performance Anxiety and Stress: Learn techniques to manage the physical and mental symptoms of anxiety, turning nervous energy into focused excitement.
• Recovering from Injuries: Common sport injuries such as concussions and ACL tears can leave mental scars. A mental performance consultant or mental coach for athletes  provides a safe space to process these experiences, helping you overcome the fear of re-injury and return to your sport with renewed confidence.
• Managing Burnout and Mental Fatigue: The demands of training and competition can be exhausting. You can develop strategies to maintain balance, prevent burnout, and sustain your passion for your sport long-term.
• Parental Pressure and Expectations: Athletes often deal with immense pressure from parents, coaches, and themselves. Learning to manage these expectations is crucial for maintaining joy and motivation in your sport.
• Athletic Identity and Retirement: For many athletes, their sport is a huge part of their identity. Retiring or transitioning away from sport can feel like a loss. Therapy helps you navigate this change, process the stages of grief, and discover how to translate the incredible skills you’ve learned into your next chapter.

Enhancing Team Dynamics

Success in team sports relies on more than individual talent. It requires cohesion, trust, and effective communication. A mental coach for teams can help improve communication between teammates and foster a supportive environment where everyone can thrive. It also helps in navigating the complex relationships with coaches, ensuring that feedback is received constructively and that team goals are aligned.

How a Mental Performance Session Works

Stepping into a session with a mental coach is a proactive step toward growth. These sessions can take place in-person or online, offering flexibility for busy schedules. They are available for individuals or for entire teams who want to build collective mental strength. A session often feels like a conversation—a collaborative exploration of your goals, challenges, and mindset. It’s a space where you can speak openly without judgment.

Your mental performance consultant won’t just listen; they will actively teach you techniques and strategies tailored to your situation. You might work on visualization exercises to prepare for a big game, develop a pre-performance routine to manage anxiety, or practice mindfulness to stay present under pressure. The goal is to equip you with practical tools that you can use immediately.

Why Mental Coaching Matters for Athletes

Investing in your mental game is one of the most powerful decisions you can make for your athletic career and your life. The benefits extend far beyond the playing field. By working with a mental coach in Denver, you learn to overcome the mental blocks that hold you back. Build the resilience to bounce back from injuries and setbacks, often returning stronger than before. Develop unshakable self-esteem that isn’t dependent on your latest result. Most importantly, you learn to cultivate a healthy identity outside of your sport, ensuring your well-being long after your competitive days are over. The skills you gain (discipline, resilience, focus, and self-awareness) are life skills. They will serve you in your future career, your relationships, and your personal growth.

Take the Next Step

Your mind is your most valuable asset. Taking care of it is not a sign of weakness but a mark of strength. If you are ready to unlock a new level of performance and well-being, exploring mental coaching for athletes or counseling for athletes in Denver, CO, could be the transformative step you’ve been looking for. You have the power to build a resilient, confident, and focused mindset. Embrace the opportunity to invest in yourself and watch how it elevates every aspect of your life. Your journey to peak performance begins now.

Are You Ready to Unlock Your Potential with Counseling for Athletes in Denver, CO?

Perhaps as you read this, something inside you felt a spark of recognition—a quiet understanding that your performance and well-being could feel different. Please know that this feeling is where your growth begins. Choosing to invest in your mental game is one of the most powerful and transformative things you can do for yourself, both as an athlete and as a person. You deserve to pursue your passion with a sense of confidence, inner strength, and joy, free from the weight of pressure and self-doubt.

Here at Headstrong Mindset, Dr. Brooke Rundle specializes in guiding athletes and performers through this very process. As an AASP Certified Mental Performance Consultant and licensed sports counselor in Colorado, Dr. Rundle is dually trained in both clinical mental health counseling and sport performance psychology. This supportive and effective approach can help you reconnect with your resilient, centered self. Together, we can help you process challenges, overcome obstacles, and unlock your full potential.

• Schedule your complimentary 15-minute consultation today.
• Learn more about how mental coaching and sports counseling can support you on your journey.
• Embrace a new chapter in your athletic career: one rooted in confidence, resilience, and a deep love for your sport, tailored just for you.

Other Services at Headstrong Mindset

The pursuit of excellence is deeply personal and often intersects with broader experiences like the weight of leadership, teamwork dynamics, or embracing your true identity. Whether you’re an athlete, coach, or someone juggling the pressures of performance and connection, it’s natural to feel the strain of being “on” all the time. These challenges can lead to moments of doubt or exhaustion, making it hard to find balance. At Headstrong Mindset, I provide a space where you can set aside the need to perform, feel understood, and receive the support needed to build confidence, resilience, and balance as you work toward your goals.

Headstrong Mindset offers specialized services tailored to every step of your journey, including sports counseling, mental coaching for athletes or teams, as well as consultation for coaches. Whether you’re looking to manage stress, strengthen communication, embrace your authentic self, or lead with renewed energy, these services are designed to support your whole self. Together, we’ll create a path forward, helping you reconnect with a steady, empowered, and authentic life.

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The History of IFS

IFS is a non-pathologizing evidence-based integrative theory that was pioneered by Richard Schwartz (Schwartz, 1994). Over the past few decades, IFS informed techniques have become increasingly popular beyond the field of psychotherapy among a wide variety of professionals including first responders, school administrators, religious leaders, legal mediators, and life coaches (IFS Institute, n.d.). IFS draws heavily from person-centered therapy, mindfulness-based stress reduction, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and a family systems approach (Schwartz, 2013). Most other mindfulness-based techniques teach individuals to notice and accept one’s thoughts and emotions from the position of what Schwartz refers to as a “passive observer” (Schwartz, 2013).  IFS, on the contrary, promotes an interactive approach that actively engages with a person’s inner ecology of parts (Haddock et al., 2017).

Foundational Tenets of IFS

IFS is made up of three foundational tenants: the multiplicity of the mind or mindfully separate “parts”, a family systems approach that recognizes the value of each member in the system, and the concept of a core Self (Schwartz, 2013). IFS asserts that the mind is a dynamic system made up of multiple parts, and that everyone’s inner world operates much like relationship systems in the external world (Schwartz, 2013; Lucero et al., 2018). Through communication with each part, individuals can gain self-insight, “unburden” or heal their wounded parts, and ultimately achieve self-leadership from a core sense of Self (Schwartz, 2013). To achieve self-leadership, the IFS approach teaches a process of inner focus and dialogue between the individual’s various parts of the system (Schwartz, 2013).

Parts of the System

IFS posits that everyone’s internal system is made up of a core Self, burdened Exiles, and protective parts that function as either Firefighters or Managers (Lucero et al., 2018).In IFS, Self is referred to as the core of a person, best equipped to lead the system, and distinguishable by its display of leadership characteristics resembling the 8 Cs (confidence, calm, compassion, courage, creativity, clarity, curiosity, and connectedness)(IFS Institute, n.d.; Schwartz et al., 2023). True to their name, Exiles are parts that have been separated or contained within the system to suppress a history of trauma or pain (IFS Institute, n.d.). Exiles are often very young, sensitive, and child-like parts (Lucero et al., 2018) that are stuck in the moment of time they were originally wounded (Schwartz et al., 2023). Managers are proactive protective parts that attempt to control or “manage” the individual’s system to mitigate activation of the exiled parts(IFS Institute, n.d.). It is common for managers to take on the role of the self-critic, caretaker, controller, analyzer, and worrier (Schwartz et al., 2024). Firefighters are reactive protective parts that attempt to numb or escape the exile’s pain by taking extreme measures in the form of either externalized behaviors such as addiction or violence, or internalized behaviors such as disassociation or depression (Schwartz, 1994; Schwartz et al., 2024).

How IFS Uniquely Benefits Athletes and Performing Artists

The application of IFS to the field of Sport & Performance Psychology has the potential to make a profound impact on athletes’ performance, relationships, and lives. When closely examining common behaviors of competitive athletes, it is easy to spot the protective behaviors of parts. In the context of sports, the role of the self-critical manager often manifests itself in athletes when mistakes are made, competitions are lost, or athletes fall short of their goals. The role of the firefighter often manifests when athletes exhibit extreme and addictive behaviors or outbursts of rage. Ultimately IFS offers a new framework for teaching athletes to increase their self-awareness and ability to self-regulate before, during, and after competition. For athletes, IFS’s mindfulness-based approach to self-acceptance and somatic awareness can quiet their inner-critic, resolve internal conflicts, and slow emotional reactivity through guided mindfulness exercises.

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History of Attachment Theory

Attachment theory was first coined by a British psychologist and psychoanalyst named John Bowlby in the 1950s. Bowlby studied the emotional, developmental, and cognitive impact of separation between infants and their primary caregivers. According to Bowlby’s theory, children look to their primary caregivers when they are in need and how the caregiver response impacts their child’s emotional development.

In 1969 John Bowbly introduced attachment theory as a psychological framework to understand the emotional bonds formed in close relationships, originally rooted in the interaction behavior between an infant and their primary caregiver (Davis & Jowett, 2010; Felton & Jowett, 2015). Nearly a decade later Mary Ainsworth, a colleague of Bowlby’s, provided empirical research to support attachment theory, resulting in the categorization of different attachment styles (Felton & Jowett, 2015). Attachment theory was expanded on by countless other researchers, most notably Mary Ainsworth. Ainsworth created an observational technique called “the Strange Situation” in 1969, in which childhood behavior was closely observed specifically when a child was reunited with their primary caregiver after being separated for a short time.

Attachment Types

The four types of attachment styles are: secure, avoidant, anxious-ambivalent, and disorganized. Each of these types of attachment styles are rooted in an individual’s childhood relationships to their primary caregivers, have been found to greatly impact the structure and behavioral patterns of an individual’s close relationships into adulthood. Here’s a summary of the different attachment styles.

1. Secure Attachment

In times of need, secure attachment reflects confidence in the availability and dependability of close relationships (Felton & Jowett, 2015). In childhood, caregivers had positive intentions to immediately and appropriately respond to the infants needs, and repair ruptures in the relationship. Children feel safe and trust they can rely on their caregivers.  As a result, the children generally feel secure to use their caregiver as a “secure base” while they continue to explore their surroundings.  

2. Avoidant Attachment

Avoidant attachment is marked by a minimal display of distress during separation in close relationships, and few attempts and maintaining contact (Felton & Jowett, 2015). In childhood primary caregivers cannot be trusted to fulfill the child’s needs. The child’s primary caregiver is either not present to them, or emotionally available. The child might feel as though the caregiver does not know or care to know who they are as a person inside and they feel disconnected. As a result, the child or adult acts indifferent when the caregiver leaves and returns. They typically put up a guard as a self-defense mechanism or act emotionally distant. They also do not continue to explore their surroundings when the care giver is present.

As adults, avoidant attachment often shows up as a rigidly defined and fragile sense. Adults with avoidant attachment tend to not be open to new experiences. Adults may might describe love as fleeting or extremely rare, they may experience problems with intimacy and often separate the act of sex from “love”. They are more likely to focus on physical sensations or performance during sexual encounters and their romantic relationships oftentimes lack emotion. Avoidant adults also tend to dismiss or ignore their own personal needs, as well as the needs of their loved ones, express less empathy and emotional support, and are also likely to struggle with sharing emotional feelings or deep personal thoughts

3. Anxious-Ambivalent Attachment

Anxious-ambivalent attachment, or simply anxious attachment, constantly desires proximity and displays withdraw symptoms such as anxiety, stress, and occasional anger in stressful situations such as separation from a close relationship (Felton & Jowett, 2015). Children with ambivalent attachment towards their primary caregiver are likely to show signs ambivalence towards their caregiver or ignore them when they are reunited, but show signs of anger, confusion, or defiance when the caregiver leaves.

4. Disorganized Attachment

In disorganized attachment, children are frightened by their primary caregiver. In this case the child feels confused by the conflict emotions of both needing their caregiver, but also feeling threatened by them. As a result, the child might display signs of confusion, anger, or depression.

Attachment & Sport

Within the past two decades, a growing number of researchers have begun to explore the application of attachment theory in sport (Davis et al., 2013). The majority of research studies and literature that examine athlete and coach attachment relationships in the context of sport teams consistently suggest that an athlete’s secure attachment relationship with both their teammates and coach does result in higher quality friendships with teammates (Carr 2009; Diaconu-Gherasim & Duca, 2018) and coaches (Davis et al., 2013), increased self-esteem and self-acceptance (Peng et al., 2020), and ultimately a greater sense of well-being and more satisfaction in sport (Davis & Jowett, 2010). This is significant because examining relationship systems in sports through the lens of attachment theory has the potential to provide valuable insight into communication styles, behavioral patterns, and affect regulation among participants (Dizdari & Seiler, 2020).

Closing

In attachment theory, it is important to understand that one person does not necessarily stay the same throughout the course of their entire life with every relationship that they are in. People change, especially after devoting time to processing their childhood experiences and relationships in counseling. There is significant research that tells us that childhood experiences definitely impact development, however it’s really important to remember that the trajectory can be changed. In other words, you cannot blame your parents for the relationships that you are struggling with as an adult. Your current relationships are actually mostly influenced by how you have processed your childhood relationships.

Referenes

Carr, S. (2009). Adolescent-parent attachment characteristics and quality of youth sport friendship. Psychology of Sport and Exercise, 10, 653–661. https://doi.org/10.1016/j. psychsport.2009.04.001.

Davis, L., & Jowett, S. (2013). Attachment styles within the coach-athlete dyad: Preliminary investigation and assessment development. Journal of Clinical Sport Psychology, 7, 120-145. 

Diaconu-Gherasim, L. R., & Duca, D. S. (2018). Parent-Adolescent Attachment and Interpersonal Relationships in Sports Teams: Exploring the Gender Differences. Gender Issues, 35(1), 21–37. https://doi-org.uws.idm.oclc.org/10.1007/s12147-017-9190-0

Dizdari, H., & Seiler, R. (2020). Key players in sport teams. An exploratory study on the effects of attachment styles on intra-team relational networks. Psychology of Sport & Exercise, 51. https://doi-org.uws.idm.oclc.org/10.1016/j.psychsport.2020.101798

Felton, L., & Jowett, S. (2015). On understanding the role of need thwarting in the association between athlete attachment and well/ill-being. Scandinavian Journal of Medicine & Science in Sports, 25, 289-298. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24593151/

Siegel, D. J. (2011). The neurobiology of “we”: How relationships, the mind, and the brain interact to shape who we are. Sounds True. https://www.soundstrue.com/products/the-neurobiology-of-we

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Relational-cultural theory provides a rationale to guide therapeutic practice at the same time that it creates a basis for the pursuit of social justice.- Judith Jordan

What is Relational Cultural Theory?

Relational-Cultural Theory (RCT) asserts that individuals innately grow in the process of seeking relational connectedness while striving for authenticity (Singh & Moss, 2016). RCT identifies “mutual empathy” and “mutual empowerment” as byproducts of human connection (Singh & Moss, 2016). RCT explores how power differentials, and the interplay of systemic, societal, and cultural factors influence the quality of relationships (Singh & Moss, 2016). Ultimately RCT provides a theoretical framework for examining the sources and impact of all forms of oppression – including heterosexism.

Why does it matter? And how can it help you?

At its’ core RCT is about the interconnectedness of human beings, for better or worse. Physical, emotional, psychological, and sexual trauma can leave people feeling violated, isolated, abandoned, and disconnected. Relational trauma has the power to shape destructive internal narratives, trigger maladaptive coping skills, and elevate internal defense mechanisms which oftentimes perpetuate the cycle of shame and suffering. However, RCT can help people recognize unhealthy power dynamics, learn how to navigate conflict, establish safe boundaries, repair ruptures, and increase the number of growth-fostering relationships in a person’s life, starting with the therapeutic relationship as a model.

RCT advocates that healing starts with connection, and relationships are as essential to human survival as air and water. At a time when quarantines are a part of daily life and most socializing takes place over social media, cultivating intentional human connection is more important than ever. At Groundswell Counseling, we want you to know that you belong and we invite you to get in relationship with us. We are accepting new clients and encourage you to connect when you’re ready.

Application

At Groundswell Counseling, I believe that relationships are an essential part of one’s mental health and growth process. Approaching therapy through the lens of relational cultural theory and attachment theory helps people recognize unhealthy power dynamics, learn how to navigate conflict, establish safe boundaries, repair ruptures, and ultimately improve relationships.

References & Additional Resources

Using Relational-Cultural Theory in LGBTQQ Counseling: Addressing Heterosexism and Enhancing Relational Competencies by Singh, A. A., & Moss, L. (2016).

Relational-Cultural Theory: The Power of Connection to Transform Our Lives by Jordan, J. V. (2017).

Originally published at Umbrella Collective

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