This is not your typical reading list of sport psychology books. At Headstrong Mindset, I want to start by acknowledging that there are a ton of fantastic books out there on mental toughness, navigating pressure, and overcoming mental obstacles for athletes in sports. The problem is that most of them are written by men about male professional athletes. As a former professional and collegiate athlete who has spent a lifetime competing and working in women’s sports, I don’t find most psychology books relatable.

I have always enjoyed reading the books of Hall of Fame level coaches such as John Wooden’s A Lifetime of Observations and Reflections On and Off the Court, Phil Knight’s Shoe Dog and Pete Carroll’s Win Forever . There are also fantastic books by sport psychology giants such as George Mumford’s The Mindful Athlete and Timothy Galloway’s classic The Inner Game of Tennis. I have deep respect for these sports legends. However, the experiences they describe in the books often feel otherworldly to female high school and collegiate athletes or coaches who don’t have access to the same level of resources or privilege.

Therefore I have compiled a list of books that are mostly written by women for everyone. These books seek to support the whole athlete and coach. These are the books I share with my current college and elite athletes and coaches. These are the books I wish I had when I was playing.

Achieving Excellence: Mastering Mindset for Peak Performance in Sport and Life

This book by Dr. Colleen Hacker and Mallery Mann is my absolutely go-to favorite Sport Psychology book. Dr. Colleen Hacker was the U.S. National Team Mental Skills coach for Team USA when they won 1999 Women’s World Cup. She’s also a 6x member of the Olympic coaching staff. It’s a fantastic read for players, coaches, sport psychologists and mental performance consultants. In her book she identifies self-awareness and self-regulation as two of the most important mental skills that impact athlete performance.

Dear Coach

Full disclaimer – I am a super fan of Der. Erdner’s book because I had the great privilege of being mentored by Dr. Erdner throughout my doctorate program and CMPC certification process for the Association for Applied Sport Psychology. I cannot say enough about how the athlete’s vulnerable letters in this book resonated with my personal experience as a former NCAA athlete and collegiate volleyball player. This is required reading for any coach that works with me. This book combines evidence-based research with athletes real life stories about their collegiate athletic experience to address systemic communication issues in college athletics.

In this book, Dr. Erdner asks all the athletes one single question: What do you wish you could have told your coach but, for whatever reason, never did?  It’s a must read book for college coaches. The answers will change the way you see your athletes and transform your relationships with them.

Rebound: Train your mind to bounce back from sport injuries

Rebound is the book I wish I had read when I was recovering from wrist surgery and trying to find my way back into the starting the line-up of my college volleyball team. In this book Carrie Jackson Cheadle and Cindy Kuzma created a guide to support injured athletes with building psychological resilience needed to recover from injury and return to sport stronger than before. They also have an inspiring podcast for injured athletes called The Injured Athlete club.

Wolfpack: How to come together, unleash our power, and change the game.

If you are looking for a fun, engaging and inspiring book to read with your entire team during the season, than look no further than Abby Wambach’s Wolfpack. The two-time Olympic Gold Medalist & FIFA World Cup Champion shares pearls of wisdom about leadership, teamwork, and balancing athletic identity. My favorite quote: “I’ve never scored a goal in my life without getting a pass from someone else.” We all have something to learn from Abby in this feminist athlete call to arms. There is also a version of Wolfpack adapted for young readers.

Coaching Athletes to Be Their Best: Motivational Interviewing in Sport

Attention Leaders & Coaches: If you want to learn how to explore your athlete’s resistance to change and learn how to navigate team conflict, this is the book for you. The authors take this person-centered approach to evaluating intrinsic motivation and apply it to directly to athletes in sport. I use motivational interviewing all the time with my athletes and highly recommend this book to coaches and sport psychologists. This book goes beyond coaching… it teaches a philosophy of curiosity and human empathy. It’s guaranteed to make you a better coach and leader.

Applied Sport Psychology: Personal Growth to Peak Performance

This is the sport psychology textbook that I return to again and again. I consider this book to be the “bible” of sport psychology techniques. It was required for me in grad school and I find myself continuing to reference the teachings, activities and techniques shared in this book by Dr. Jean Williams and Dr. Vikki Krane. Warning: it’s not a quick and easy read, but it covers a broad variety of topics and performance concerns that athletes and coaches experience, so you can jump to the chapter on the theme you need support around. Dr. Krane is one of my favorite sport psychology authors and researchers. She also published Sex, Gender, & Sexuality in Sport.

Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts.

This book isn’t exactly a Sport Psychology per se, but the principles in this book are absolutely transferrable to coaches and athletes. In her book, Dare to Lead, Brené Brown (researcher, social worker &  New York Times bestselling author) answers this critical question: How do you cultivate braver, more daring leaders, and how do you embed the value of courage in your culture?

Brown writes, “One of the most important findings of my career is that daring leadership is a collection of skills and practices that are 100 percent teachable. It’s learning and unlearning that requires brave work, tough conversations, and showing up with your whole heart. Easy? No. Because choosing courage over comfort is not always our default. Worth it? Always. We want to be brave with our lives and our work. It’s why we’re here.”

If you’re new to Brené Brown’s work, add her book to the top of your reading list. My personal favorite of hers is: Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience.

The ATHMINDSET Workbook: Training your mind for optimal mental health in sport and in life.

This work book was create by Lisa Bonta Sumii, who is a Licensed Social Worker and Certified Mental Performance Consultant. I’m a huge fan of Lisa’s podcast Athlete Mindset. The ATHMINDSET podcast and the workbook are full of gold nuggets for players, coaches, and parents supporting the mental performance and wellbeing of athletes and teams.

Headstrong

Last but not least, my mindset training guidebook was created specifically for volleyball teams to read and discuss together in the form of a book club to enhance pre-season team-building. You can buy the paperback on Amazon.

Got other book recommendations that should be added to this list? I want to hear from you. Drop me a line with a book recommendation for you favorite book on sport psychology, athlete mental health and wellness, or athlete memoirs.

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Performance errors and setbacks are a part of a every sport, for every athlete, at every level. We all understand this concept and yet oftentimes have a difficult time recovering from the previous play and shifting the focus to the next one. If you find yourself worrying about the future, or dwelling on past mistakes during games, try this.

After making a performance error, it is common to re-play the event in your mind. The mental re-replay will either reinforce the impact of the error by dwelling on it, or help you recover and prepare for the next play by visualizing the correction and engaging in positive self-talk. Mentally fixing the error will prepare you for the next play and help you return to focusing on the present moment.

This “fix-it” and “play forward” mentality encourages athletes to control their reaction to error by re-directing attention towards the next play. Rather than responding to a mistake with a barrage of negative self-talk, try correcting the error in your mind and returning to the present moment in preparation for the next play.

Errors do not have to be catastrophic. The goal is not to never make mistakes in games or tournaments. The goal is to mentally recover from mistakes faster and move on to the next play. The question athletes need to answer is: how quickly do you move from an emotion focus to a task, problem-solving focus in competition? (Lodato, 2022).  By creating intentional, consistent, and repeatable routines for handling errors in competition, you will learn to let go of the past and mentally prepare for the next play.

Practical Strategies

Here’s a few examples of practical and tangible strategies to embody the “fix-it” mentality and mentally move on to the next play. 

• Step away from the baseline in tennis or service line in volleyball
•  Redirect attention to a focus point or cue to clear the mind.
• Take a big inhale and mentally release the error on the exhale.
• Make a physical movement to symbolically “wipe it away”. Some volleyball players will wipe the sweat off their forehead or beach volleyball players may pick up sand and throw it to get rid of the error.
•  Imagine flushing the away and going down a drain (Ravizza).

References

Lodato, V.A. (2022). Imagery and Visualization Week 7 [PowerPoint slides]. Sport Performance & Psychology, University of Western States. 

Lodato, V.A. (2022). Handling Competitive Stress [Handout]. Sport Performance & Psychology, University of Western States. 

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History is full of stories about athletes that have been cut from teams, experienced heartbreaking losses, and devastating injuries. However because the focus is usually on the career highlights of the winners, the heroic stories of their persevering journeys are often missed.

Michael Jordan was famously cut in high school from his varsity basketball team in the 10th grade. Later in his career, Jordan reflected back on the experience, “It was embarrassing not making that team. They posted the roster and it was there for a long, long time without my name on it. I remember being really mad, too.” The experienced seeded his famously resilient work ethic. “Whenever I was working out and got tired and figured I ought to stop, I’d close my eyes and see that list in the locker room without my name on it and that usually got me going again.” Jordan finished his career as a global icon named MVP of the NBA Finals 6x with 6 NBA championship rings, 2 Olympic Gold Medals, and widely acclaimed as the NBA’s the greatest basketball player of all time.

The experience of getting cut from a team or sidelined, and bouncing back stronger is not a unique narrative for elite athletes. The list goes on and on.

Bill Russell was cut from his junior varsity basketball team in high school and mostly ignored from college recruiters prior to winning 11 NBA Championships.

Abby Wambach suffered devastating World Cup losses in 2003, 2007, and 2011 before eventually accomplishing her dream of winning the 2015 FIFA Women’s World Cup at the end of her soccer career.

Crystal Dunn was the very last player cut from the US Women’s 2015 World Cup roster. She described the experience, “getting that phone call and being told you’re not going to the World Cup was soul crushing. I really doubted myself in that moment…I had to make the decision to pick myself up, dust myself off, just get back to work and enjoy the game again.” Four years later, in 2019, Dunn became a FIFA World Cup Champion. In 2021 she was the only American World Cup player to start in every match at the Summer Olympics in Tokyo.

Tom Brady was looked over in the first 5 rounds of the 2000 NFL draft. Eventually selected as pick number 199, Brady was the 7th quarterback selected in the NFL draft that year. Two years later Brady led the New England Patriots to a Super Bowl in 2002. He would go on to win 7 Super Bowls in throughout career.

If you were recently cut or sidelined, you are in good company. It hurts now but might just be the extra fuel you need to sustain in the future. All of these athletes maintained a growth mindset to work harder and come back stronger. Take a tip from MJ, Wamback, Dunn and Brady. All of these athletes are examples of overcoming adversity in sports before rising to the top. It is the history of failures that pave the way to future success.

Do you know of other comeback stories about great athletes? I want to hear them! Drop me a line and share stories about famous athletes coming back from being cut.

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Perfectionism is characterized by unrealistically high expectations of self and a tendency to be over critical of one’s performance (Madigan et al., 2016). Within the last decade, the number of research studies conducted on perfectionism in sports has increased significantly (Vicent, Sanmartín, Vásconez-Rubio, and García-Fernández, 2020). In 2005, Flett and Hewitt coined the term “perfectionism paradox” to describe how the environment of competitive sports encourages perfectionism in athletes (Flett & Hewitt, 2005). Since the emergence of Covid-19, researchers Flett and Hewitt are now referring to the phenomenon of widespread rates of perfectionism among athletes as a “perfectionism pandemic”.

Perfectionist Strivings vs Perfectionist Concerns

Perfectionism is not necessarily good or bad. The term perfectionism describes an individual’s tendency to set unattainable standards. In sports, in can mean athletes are highly motivated and hardworking, but it also typically means that athletes;

• play tentatively and avoid taking risks for fear of making mistakes,
• avoid trying new techniques or skills because they are afraid of failing,
• fear judgement and rejection from their teammates and coaches,
• experience constant and harsh negative self-talk or self-scrutiny.

However, not all forms of perfectionism are maladaptive for athletes. Perfectionism can be deconstructed into the following two dimensions; perfectionist strivings and perfectionist concerns (Madigan et al., 2016). Perfectionist strivings, also known as a positive form perfectionism or self-oriented perfectionism, refer to a pattern of exceedingly high personal standards and often result in positive processes and outcomes such as adaptive coping skills (Madigan et al., 2016).

On the other hand, perfectionist concerns, negative form perfectionism or socially prescribed perfectionism, reflect a fear of making mistakes that include chronic fear of judgement and rejection (Madigan et al., 2016), in addition to constant and harsh self-scrutiny (Moore et al., 2018). In the context of athletics, it is important to distinguish between the two dimensions of perfectionist tendencies because they often produce opposite results among athletes and coaches.

The Research

A 2016 longitudinal research study of 141 junior athletes conducted by Madigan, Stoeber, and Passfield found that athletes with high levels of perfectionist strivings are more likely to have higher levels of intrinsic motivation and are less susceptible to feelings of burnout, while athletes with higher levels of perfectionist concerns had higher levels of external motivation and increased burnout rates (Madigan et al., 2016). Another 2017 research study conducted by Lizmore, Dunn, and Dunn of 140 college athletes found that a correlation between heightened perfectionist concerns and negative reactions to poor performance or reaction to error (Lizmore et al., 2017). Conversely, perfectionist strivings demonstrated a positive correlation with higher levels of self-compassion and optimism, and lower levels of pessimism (Lizmore et al., 2017). In summary, the study concluded that perfectionist strivings tend to result in more positive failure response patterns in contrast to perfectionist concerns (Lizmore et al., 2017).

While it should come as no surprise that maladaptive perfectionism leads to negative reaction to error and increased burnout rates among athletes, it may be news to some that perfectionist concerns among coaches also lead to increased rates of burnout. A 2020 research study conducted by Vealey, Coppola, Martin, Ward, & Chamberlin on the correlation between perfectionism, motivation and burnout among 311 high school and collegiate coaches, found that maladaptive perfectionism among coaches was the greatest predictor of emotional exhaustion, reduced motivation, and burnout (Vealey et al., 2020).   

The Solution

How do we, as mental performance consultants, help players and coaches shift from experiencing perfectionist concerns, aka forms of maladaptive perfectionism, to perfectionist strivings? Here’s a few tools to help athletes (and coaches) deconstruct their maladaptive perfectionism tendencies to ultimately improve their reaction to error, increase motivation, decrease burnout, and enjoy competing more.

1. Increase self compassion through negative thought replacement: Increasing one’s self-compassion means replacing the merciless judgement and negative self-talk from your inner critic with an internal voice of kindness, understanding, and encouragement. In sports it often looks like talking to yourself the same way that you talk to your teammates. For example, instead of allowing the voice of your inner critic to say something harmful such as, “You’re not good enough to be here, you’ll never be good enough. You don’t belong in the starting line-up or on this team.” (Most athletes would never dream of saying that to their teammates, and yet similar sentiments are constantly running through their minds during competition!) Try replacing those thoughts with positive affirmations such as, “You are constantly improving. Your hard work is going to pay off. You belong here.”

2. Increase self compassion through a “Metta Meditation” : The purpose of a Metta Meditation is to cultivate compassion through awareness. The practice of a Metta Meditation can be traced back to the original Buddhist tradition in which one first cultivates compassion toward oneself; then towards family and friends (teammates); then eventually toward one’s enemies (or the case of sports we’ll focus on opponents); and ultimately, toward the earth and all living beings. You can listen to a recording of a Metta Meditation here, or use this Metta Meditation script for athletes which I have adapted specifically for sports teams.

3. Use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques to deconstruct maladaptive perfectionist thought patterns : Cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT, is a form of talk-therapy that connects the relationship between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. In CBT you are encouraged to identify, dismantle, and replace your negative, irrational, and catastrophic thoughts. The negative-thought replacement identified above is just one exercise of many that can be adapted for athletes to change their thinking and gain control over their maladaptive perfectionist tendencies. My free mental performance workbook contains many more exercises and worksheets to help athletes deconstruct maladaptive perfectionism that impacts performance. If you want to dive deeper, I also recommend checking out The CBT Workbook for Perfectionism.

References:

Flett, G.L. & Hewitt, P.L. (2005). The perils of perfectionism in sports and exercise. Current Directions Psychological Science, 14(1),14-18.https://doi.org/10.1111/j.0963-7214.2005.00326.x

Lizmore, M.R., Dunn, J.G.H., & Causgrove Dunn, J. (2017). Perfectionist strivings, perfectionistic concerns, and reactions to poor personal performances among intercollegiate athletes. Psychology of Sport and Exercise, 33(2017)75-84. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psychsport.2017.07.010

Madigan, D. J., Stoeber, J., & Passfield, L. (2016). Motivation mediates the perfectionism-burnout relationship: A three-wave longitudinal study with junior athletes. Journal of Sport & Exercise Psychology, 38(4), 341–354.

Moore, E., Holding, A. C., Moore, A., Levine, S. L., Powers, T. A., Zuroff, D. C., & Koestner, R. (2021). The role of goal-related autonomy: A self-determination theory analysis of perfectionism, poor goal progress, and depressive symptoms. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 68(1), 88–97. https://doi-org.uws.idm.oclc.org/10.1037/cou0000438

Vealey, R. S., Coppola, A., Martin, E., Ward, R. M., & Chamberlin, J. (2020). The Slippery Slope: Can Motivation and Perfectionism Lead to Burnout in Coaches? International Sport Coaching Journal, 7(1), 1–10.

Vicent, M., Sanmartín, R., Vásconez-Rubio, O., & García-Fernández, J. M. (2020). Perfectionism Profiles and Motivation to Exercise Based on Self-Determination Theory. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 17(9). https://doi-org.uws.idm.oclc.org/10.3390/ijerph17093206

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What exactly is positive psychology?

Positive psychology is a framework based in scientific research that contains formal strength assessments to help athletes reach their optimal potential. Martin Seligman is considered the father of positive psychology because his research on resilience, happiness, wellbeing, and strengths laid the foundation for a shift from focusing on mental illness, trauma, suffering, and pain to focusing on happiness, wellbeing, flourishing, flow, and strengths. Positive psychology ultimately asks what’s right with athletes, instead of what’s wrong with them. Using positive psychology, a mental performance coach or consultant can help athletes understand their greatest strengths and use them to elevate their performance and even navigate their athletic careers.

Positive psychology is the scientific study of what makes life most worth living.” (Peterson, 2008).

Why is positive psychology often overlooked?

The field of psychology is rooted in a deficit approach that primarily focuses on the diagnosis of symptoms. Diagnosing the root of mental illness, pain and suffering is the very foundation of psychology. The field of psychology at large has ignored positive functioning because oftentimes fixing what is wrong inherently feels more urgent than building upon what is right.  Many coaches in sport also maintain the philosophy that an athlete’s weaknesses represent their greatest area for potential growth (Robert Biswas-Diener, 2010). However, the field of positive psychology suggests an alternative approach that prioritizes athlete mental health and wellness, while building upon their inherent strengths.

What are the benefits of adopting a positive psychology framework?

Positive psychology cannot guarantee the outcome of happy athletes or teams, however it can provide a framework and deliver tools for their athletes to develop skills, cultivate balance, and find their own sense of meaning in their sport (Biswas-Diener, 2010). The evidenced-based research on positive psychology indicates that adopting a framework of positive psychology leads to a reduction in athlete burnout rates, increased internal motivation, and a strengthened sense of purpose on the court or playing field.

The most common myth of positive psychology

The most common myth about positive psychology is that it ignores problems and weaknesses. This is simply not true. Although the positive psychology is largely focused on strength identification, rather a diagnosis of illness or weakness, the framework is founded upon a growth-mindset model that is always seeking to improve, grow, heal, adapt, and learn. Therefore, athlete weaknesses will naturally improve over time as the athlete becomes stronger, more confident, and self-aware as a result of using a positive psychology approach.

Three sample interventions to get you started

Positive psychology is supported by evidence-based research that supports interventions and approaches (Biswas-Diener, 2010). Research studies show that focusing on strengths identification, optimism, and gratitude results in increased happiness, higher rates of recovery, and lower rates of depression (Robert Biswas-Diener, 2010). Strengths-based therapy has been found to produce a higher success rate when compared to therapies that do not focus on strengths (Robert Biswas-Diener, 2010). 

1. Build a strengths vocabulary. The VIA Survey of Character Strengths is a self-assessment of character strengths that can be taken online for free. Coaches can have their players take the strengths tests to learn more about how their teams.
2. Create a culture of positivity by asking to players to talk about their strengths. Start with questions like: What do you like best about yourself on or off the court? Or What aspect of your game are you most proud of? Many athletes, especially female ones, are socialized to be humble and recoil when asked to talk about their strengths for fear of appearing overly confident (Biswas-Diener, 2010). 
3. Conduct a gratitude exercise. Research studies have linked gratitude to higher levels of social support and reduced depression (Steen, Seligman, Peterson, & Park, 2005), in addition to lower rates of social anxiety (Kashdan, Julian, Merritt, & Uswatte, 2006). An easy intervention that anyone can implement is to have players keep a daily journal of three things they are thankful for (Biswas-Diener, 2010). 

References:

Biswas-Diener, Robert. (2010). Practicing Positive Psychology Coaching: Assessment, Activities and Strategies for Success. Wiley.

Ackerman, Courtney E. (2022). What is positive psychology? & Why is it important? https://positivepsychology.com/what-is-positive-psychology-definition/

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Goal setting is a powerful strategy to get and stay motivated on the journey towards your dreams. Goal setting is the road map to the future that you want. Goal setting is the process by which you can achieve your accomplishments if you stay disciplined and continue to put forth the effort. Goal setting is the key to adopting a growth mindset. In the words of the late great basketball Coach John Wooden, “Do not let what you can not do interfere with what you can do.”

However, there is more to goal setting, then just writing lofty dreams down on a piece of paper. Goal setting is an ongoing process that needs to be reflected upon, measured, monitored, assessed, and reassessed. When done well, both individual and team goal setting can be a powerful motivator and play a critical role in achieving desired success.

Here’s 5 tips to making better and more effective individual and team goals.

1. Make your goals specific and measurable. Athletes and coaches should always be able to assess how close you are to attaining a goal.
2. Add time constraints to your goals. When are you supposed to achieve this goal? By the end of the 1^st week of practice? After 3 weeks of practice? The whole course of the season? By the time your team reaches the playoffs?
3. Write down your goals and monitor your progress regularly. Don’t just write them down and never look at them again. Put your goals in a place that you can see them regularly like a vision a board, a locker room, or gym.
4. Set goals for practice as well as games. If you can’t do it in practice, then you’re probably not going to be able to do it under pressure in competition. Always practice what you hope to achieve in competition.
5. Set positive goals not negative ones. Your mind cannot tell the difference between a negative or positive visualization, therefore you should always visualize what you hope to execute. For example, instead of saying your goal is to not lose any games this season, try saying our goal is to win all of our games this season. Always turn your negatives into positives. That goes for both goals and visualization.

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A fixed mindset focuses on how good you are right now instead of your potential. A fixed mindset takes feedback personally and gets defensive. A fixed mindset avoids working on your weakest skills and does not believe that improvement is possible. A growth mindset focuses on measuring improvement and learns from a tough loss. A growth mindset accepts feedback and views criticism as constructive. A growth mindset targets your weakest skills in training and truly believes improvement is the reward of a hard work ethic.

Having belief in your ability to improve with practice is essential to succeeding throughout your career.  It is critical you trust in the potential of your ability to improve and your teammates ability to get better during the course of a season.  Here’s 4 key reminders about having a growth mindset.

1. Accept that mistakes are part of the learning process.

Mistakes show you how you can improve and what you need to practice. The frustration that comes around making mistakes is what pushes you to become a better a player. Karch Kiraly, a 3-time Olympic gold medalist and the USA Women’s Volleyball National Team coach, encourages players to “work to the edge of your abilities by taking more risks and not fearing mistakes.” Learning how to let go of mistakes quickly in competition and refocus on the next point is critical to having a growth mindset. There’s never enough time during competition to dwell on past mistakes. Beating yourself up over mistakes during competition is distracting and it damages your confidence in the moment. If you can not learn to let go of mistakes quickly, then they could end up costing you the whole game!

2. Be patient.

We have become so accustomed to getting instant results in other areas of life, that most of us don’t even realize when we are feeling impatient or frustrated in practice. Becoming aware of the frustration is oftentimes the first step to sustaining growth. Frustration can be a powerful motivator, but it helps to remember that improvement is typically not a straight line forward. In fact, oftentimes improvement is two steps forward, and one step back. You can’t just flip a switch to become the level athlete that you want to be, you’ve got to plant the seeds and wait for them grow.  In other words, you have got to put in the work, make mistakes, and learn to be patient. There is no such thing as instant improvement in sports. Those players you look up to playing in the Olympics and the Pro Leagues all put in the time and did the hard work. That’s how you improve and grow as a player. No elite athlete gets out of working hard and there’s no such thing as instant improvement in sports.

3. Celebrate growth wherever you see it.

Eventually a time will come in practice or in competition when you suddenly realize that significant improvement has been made. When you have those ah-hah moments and recognize growth in yourself or in your teammates, you need to stop and celebrate them. It’s very hard to recognize change and improvement in yourself.  It’s much easier to see change in your teammates. However, oftentimes we don’t take the time to point out and celebrate the growth and improvement in our teammates when we recognize it. Always take time to celebrate moments of growth in yourself and in your teammates.

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In the 2019 NCAA tournament your team beat BYU 3-0 at BYU.  How did you prepare your team for that big match-up? 

There were a number of factors. We had very high goals for the season and expectations for ourselves. We were ready for the NCAA tournament. We finished 3rd in the PAC-12. We were ready to make a nice run (in the playoffs) and we felt really confident. We really thought that we had a shot at hosting, and found out that we were going to BYU for the 3rd time in 4 years. I couldn’t have been more proud of my team for the way they handled that. I had very strong leadership.  Right from the start they were like, it’s a bummer but it doesn’t matter. I’ve been doing this long enough now to know that if you start getting too worried about where you’re sent and what your seed might be, then you’re probably starting from behind right off the bat. So we just had a really great mindset going into the tournament right away.  We took the mentality of wherever, whoever and whatever it takes.

We took the mentality of wherever, whoever and whatever it takes.

I felt like it was a calumniation of the whole season, what our goals were and what our expectations were.  We had a plan in place for the season.  Part of executing our plan was to make a nice run. Losing can be a great motivator too and we had lost to them the year before.

There was a lot of media and our fans that tried to make a big deal out of it. Everyone was like hey congratulations and I’m so sorry that you have to go back to BYU.  We just made a decision really early that we wouldn’t let anybody talk to us about the seeding issue.  I was nervous because we had won a big five set match the night before against Illinois and we were tired.  It was one of those things where less is more. We kept our scouting very limited. We let them have time for a nap after a little serve and pass. We were just ready to go. 

How do you prepare your team game after game throughout the long season and prevent player burnout?

The grind of a season is so great that every week you’re looking to find that place where you can play fresh, free and have a great weekend. Especially in the PAC-12. Every week is a different beast and it’s a long season. Sometimes you just grind matches out and that’s what you expect. And then sometimes you have something that’s really exciting happening, like the NCAA tournament.

We had a weekend where we were celebrating my 30th year and we were retiring our first ever volleyball jersey in our arena – Kim Turner. Our team really bought into the excitement of that weekend and had a great week of preparation. At the end of the day it always comes down to if you have a great week of prep, you’re probably going to play really well on the weekend. If you don’t, if you’re good enough you can find a way to grind it out but if you’re not then you’re going to lose. We beat UCLA 3-0 that weekend too and it was a flawless match.

I think it was a combination of you’re constantly doing the work that you do and then you find some places within the season that are you know, players get really fired up about. Maybe it’s an opponent you’re playing that the players like to play. We seem to play pretty well against Washington. We have great matches with them all the time. So in the course of a long season, it’s important to find weekends that are a little different than the other ones because otherwise it’s just a grind weekend after weekend. I would say that UCLA match was pretty similar to our BYU match in that we just came out, we executed, we had a great mindset and a great week of practice. 

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For something to grow, a seed has to be planted in the dirt, underground, out of sight.  The seed needs to be watered, but not over watered. It needs sunlight, but not too much sunlight.  To harvest food from seeds, it takes patience and trust.  You can care for it, fertilize it and protect it but you can’t speed up the process.  The seed is going to grow at the natural rhythm of the earth.  Our great ancestors understood this. They lived by this pace, this rhythm of the earth.

But in the past few hundred years humans invented machines.   We invented cars and airlines that sped up our travel time.  We invented telephones and the Internet. (The World Wide Web was invented 1990. That’s not that long ago!)  At the same time that we’re learning much more about the world around us with access to unlimited information, we also began to get used to having access to information instantly. 

As a culture, in the past 30 years we’ve gotten used to having almost everything we want instantly at our fingertips.  Need a ride somewhere, just hit a button on your phone and you can have an Uber at your door in less than 5 minutes.  Hungry for dinner? Hit another button on your phone to place a meal order online and your dinner will be delivered in under an hour.  Need to order a birthday gift for someone?  Hit a different button to place an order on Amazon, and you can have it delivered to you the next day. They’ve already got your credit card number saved in your profile. We’ve gotten used to having everything we want almost instantly, that we forget sometimes that we even have to pay for it.  

Can you see how this instant culture “hit a button” mentality could impact your mindset on the volleyball court?

Can you see how getting instant results in every other area of your life, would make it more frustrating for you when improvement takes longer than you want?

You can’t just flip a switch or a hit a button to become the volleyball player that you want to be.  You’ve got to put in the work, and make mistakes and learn to be patient.

But here’s the thing, when it comes to growth, real sustaining growth, you can’t just hit a button. There is no such thing as instant improvement in volleyball. Those players you lookup to on the national team invested time and did the hard work. That’s how you improve. That’s how you grow. 

And one more thing, the reason why we’re so frustrated right now is because all the instant systems that we’re used to are being disrupted by a tiny virus. And so we’re being forced to time travel back to a time when nothing came instantly.  We’re being forced to wait for in lines to enter a grocery a story that doesn’t have all our favorite products, and Amazon is out of stock and taking weeks to deliver. And so the “buttons” in our life our broken and “instant culture” is getting a glimpse of what it was like for our ancestors who knew what it meant to plant seeds and wait for food to grow.

Now is the season to plant. What seeds are you planting now? 

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