Blog - Page 5 of 5 - Headstrong Mindset LLC

Planting Seeds

Our ancestors were deeply attuned to the seasons of the earth. They new when to plant seeds to harvest life sustaining vegetables and grains because they lived off the food they harvested from the seeds they planted.

For something to grow, a seed has to be planted in the dirt, underground, out of sight. The seed needs to be watered, but not over watered. It needs sunlight, but not too much sunlight. To harvest food from seeds, it takes patience and trust. You can care for it, fertilize it and protect it but you can’t speed up the process. The seed is going to grow at the natural rhythm of the earth. Our great ancestors understood this. They lived by this pace, this rhythm of the earth.

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The Gender Confidence Gap

Confidence

My favorite definition of confidence is, “an individual’s belief that they can do whatever it takes to be successful in their sport” (Krane et al, 2015). In my book Headstrong, I define confidence as a player’s belief in their ability to reach a set result or established goal. In both of these definitions, belief is the key word. Nothing is going to change in your performance on the court until you believe that you can do the things you want to do. Improvement, starts with belief.

To be the best passer, you need to believe that you can become the best passer. To be the best setter, you need to believe that can become the best setter. And to win the match, you and your teammates need to believe you can win the match! We all perform differently when we are sure we can win, instead of just hoping that maybe we can win but maybe not.

In sports, and in society, masculinity is often associated with being tough, strong, aggressive, competitive and arrogant. Where as, femininity is often associated with being graceful, thin, goal-oriented or being a perfectionist, and being confident, but not overly confident. Oftentimes women who display these “masculine characteristics are accused of being angry, emotional, out of control, or feminists. Many women also confuse confidence with arrogance and are afraid to be labeled as cocky or arrogant. Confidence in particular is often rewarded in men and punished in women.

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Velcro & Teflon Theory

Concentration, Confidence

A neuroscientist named Dr. Rick Hanson discovered that the human brain has a natural negativity bias to internalize negative experiences more deeply than positive ones. According to Dr. Hanson, the brain is like velcro for negative experiences and teflon for positive ones.

When you have a negative, fear based, shameful experience or an insecure thought, your mind wraps around it like velcro. When you have a positive experience, for example – when you receive a compliment or somebody affirms and congratulations you, it slides off like melted butter on a teflon skillet. Our brains are hardwired to remember negative experiences and quickly forget positive experiences.

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How Screen Time Impacts Your Concentration

Concentration

Gloria Mark, a professor of informatics at the University of California at Irvine, reported that the median length of time people can hold their attention in front of a computer screen or phone is 40 seconds.

In other words, about every 40 seconds most people get distracted and switch actions. Consider your own cell phone habits. Now picture the following scenario: You’re writing an email for work or a paper for class when you receive a phone notification from on Facebook (or TikTok, Instagram, Whatsapp, etc). Next you open the message and click on the link that you received from your friend and before you even realize it you’re trying to buy toilet paper from Amazon!

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On Waiting for Permission

Self-care

If you are waiting for somebody to give you permission, then it may never happen. If the change that you want to experience in your life is contingent on somebody else, than there may be no end to your waiting. Nobody is going to give you permission.

And by the way, you don’t need their permission anyway. Your life is your own and you can just do it.

There will also never be a perfect time.

Waiting for permission to speak will silence your voice when authority overlooks you.

Holding out for permission to rest will exhaust your motivation and steal away your passion.

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